By Barbara Relph
Uncoupling
an insider’s guide to separation in New Zealand
Answering practical questions to help you navigate the challenges of separation, Uncoupling will help you move through each step and into the next phase of your life.
Whether you are uncoupling from a relationship, or find yourself suddenly uncoupled, you will find practical help here.
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Listen to Barbara's interview with Kathryn Ryan.
Barbara discusses her book, how it came about and some practical advice from the book – Listen Here
About Uncoupling
This is not the story of a separation, but is a practical guide, inspired by my own experiences and research with New Zealand experts.
Answering many of the tricky questions resulting from separation, the book is dotted with real life anecdotes shared by the many men and women I interviewed while researching separation in New Zealand.
The stages of separation are presented in a logical sequence from the difficult early days, to making sense of the legal process, through to consciously creating a better life.
How do you know this is what you want?
It's one of life's most difficult decisions. Uncoupling outlines useful ways to help you make the decision to stay coupled, or to uncouple.
Emotional turmoil and big decisions
How do you tell your children? Where will you live? How will you pay for it?
All while grieving a lost relationship. Uncoupling guides you through.
What are your legal rights?
Enter this process with your eyes open, understanding the resolution options and the law covering key separation issues - property and children.
Find a lawyer, save on costs
Do I need a lawyer? How to make a good decision and get good value. It's expensive and Uncoupling shows you how to minimise costs.
Take care of yourself and your finances
It's time to take control, starting with taking care of yourself. What do you want from your new life? Are your finances under control? Is your work life future-fit?
Protect your assets in case you fall in love (again)
How is your social life? Have you tried online dating? And if you do happen to meet the new love of your life, do you know how to protect yourself and your assets?
The freedom of financial independence
Achieving financial settlement means moving on. For me, not knowing where I stood financially was really holding me back in other parts of my life. It created a lot of anxiety. I would make plans, but not feel confident I could afford to implement them. I didn’t...
Consciously communicating better with your ex
Think about it. The chance that anything will change by rehashing old issues or engaging in emotive conversations is small. Your best chance, whatever side of the break-up you are on, is to be business-like and professional in your communications. It’s so easy to...
Change is grief and grief is a process
Acknowledging that both your and your partner’s reactions are largely part of the grief process really helps when coming to terms with the separation. This process may start well before the separation as the person making the decision mentally separates. That person...
Author
Barbara Relph
When my relationship ended, I faced turmoil. With no stable income source and no established career path, I was forced to re-think my life.
I became a professional writer and editor in 2017 and am now living a life which surprises me every day.
Having personally worked through many of the issues in Uncoupling, I have a strong desire to ease the experience of others, using my new-found knowledge as a starting point.
Listen to Barbara’s interview with Kathryn Ryan.
Barbara discusses her book, how it came about and some practical advice from the book – Listen Here
